Ask For It: How Women Can Use Negotiation to Get What They Really Want by Linda Babcock & Sara Laschever

Author:Linda Babcock & Sara Laschever [Babcock, Linda]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2008-02-26T08:00:00+00:00

Eleanor—OKAY FOR MY HUSBAND BUT NOT FOR ME

Eleanor was married with two kids. Both she and her husband worked full-time, she as a pediatrician and he as a management consultant. She had a busy practice, worked late two nights a week, and was on call one weekend a month. Her husband also worked hard, putting in sixty to seventy hours a week and traveling constantly. Every August, to recharge his batteries, he took a three-week fishing trip to Canada with his brothers. Although this made August a tough month for her, Eleanor could see that the trip was good for her husband. He always came back in a great mood, far more relaxed than when he’d left, with more energy for the kids and for her.

When a group of her medical school friends invited her to join them for a five-day “girls’ getaway” at a spa in Arizona, however, the situation didn’t seem as clear-cut. Eleanor wanted to go and knew she could use the break. But it would be hard for her husband to handle the kids by himself while she was away, and the spa was expensive. How could she justify being so extravagant? Most of all, Eleanor didn’t think she deserved to take so much time away from her children when the kids were always hungry for more time with her as it was. She decided not to go.

Eleanor could see clearly that her husband worked hard and deserved to take his annual fishing trips, and she could see that taking those trips was not just good for him but good for the family. But like Tamlyn she expected an awful lot of herself. She couldn’t see that she too deserved and needed a break, and that the whole family would benefit if she paid attention to her own emotional and physical health once in a while.

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